Pete Doherty

Garrard, Asprey and Bulgari must be quaking in their Louboutin boots. The big jewellery news is that the nation’s favourite Babyshambles is doing a Jade Jagger, designing a range of luxury baubles in conjunction with Hannah Martin, late of Cartier. Given his street appeal, I’d have thought his collection, Albion Trinketry, would be perfect for Argos to add to the dazzling bling they offer from other latter-day Benvenuto Cellinis such as er, Justin Bieber, Lily Allen and Alesha Dixon, but it’s reported that the porky chops pork pie hat wearer’s gear is to sell exclusively through upmarket clothing chain, Joseph. Apparently, the muse for his collection is none other than Doherty himself, so expect vein (sic) urban junkies to be lining up in droves. There's said to be a selection of pins, cufflinks and the rest of the distressed dandy around town wardrobe staples but will he do spoon brooches? Whatever!  The good news is that if Pete works in tin foil, you’re unlikely to be mugged by some zonked-out smackhead fixing to flog it for a score at the nearest pawn shop.