Sunday, 28 March 2010

JAMIE OLIVER

The turkey twizzler’s nemesis was left blubbing as Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution premiered on American TV this week. The Naked Chef - please God, no! - was upset when the school dinner ladies of West Virginia rubbished suggestions that serving children ‘breakfast pizza’ with chocolate milk is the reason 78-inch waist jeans inhabit the ‘petite’ aisle at local retailer, Tubs’R’Us. Clearly ignorant of official government policy - word is that a cash-strapped Pentagon is grooming a generation of super-obese kids to be dropped on the Taliban as human cluster bombs - Jamie’s health crusade tanked; harassing hefties about as welcome in America as a plate of edamame beans on Billy Bunter’s breakfast table. More tears, one imagines, when ol’ chubby chops learned his new show’s viewing figures verged on the anorexic.

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