As war criminal/ sadistic dentist Dr Szell in Marathon Man, Larry Olivier memorably hits a few raw nerves as he drills into Dustin Hoffman’s gnashers. Perhaps poor Ms Barton’s recent extractions were at the brutal hands of one of the Nazi molar molester’s alumnae? The troubled ‘star’ claims her Colgate ring of confidence was shattered when her wisdom teeth were removed without proper medication, on the grounds that taking painkillers might impinge on her TV commitments. The trauma of this ‘terrible’ dental surgery apparently explains July’s rumoured involuntary stint in an LA psychiatric unit. Palliative care has come a long way since my great-granny had her entire bottom set yanked out with only neat whisky to numb the pain - indeed, my own dentist’s preferred form of sedation involves nothing more traumatic than subjecting patients to re-runs of Mischa in The OC - so forgive me for wondering if even the tooth fairy might dismiss this painful tale as complete mental floss.
image: www.alarmpress.com
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